The Best of Christmas: Day 9, 10 & 11
I’m really slacking on this daily post commitment. To be fair it’s been a busy few days for me and a nap has been more convincing than writing a new blog post. I spent Sunday in Birmingham at the Frankfurt Christmas market and then I left at 7:30 on Monday morning to attend an assessment day at the Channel 4 base in London, for a Production Apprentice role. So life’s good right now, but also tiring.
Today I have no excuses though! So without further ado, lets talk Christmas movies.
The film behind door number 9 is actually one of my favourite films of all time. You can watch it at any point in the year and it works. Despite being set around Thanksgiving, I consider Planes Trains and Automobiles to be very festive and I’ll take any opportunity to praise it.
Not only is this movie directed by the legendary John Hughes, but it also casts the amazing, larger than life, John Candy. If you haven’t seen it before, you absolutely have to. The story is of the short tempered neat-freak Neal Page, played by the distinguished Steve Martin, trying to get home in time for Thanksgiving. When the weather and every kind of public transport seems to be against him, Neal’s journey gets a lot more complicated and gives way to one of the funniest on screen rants to date. The whole time, Neal finds that he can’t shake the over excitable, Shower curtain ring salesman, Del Griffith. When the two men realise they’re both heading to Chicago, they begin on a hilarious journey full of mishaps and self realisation. This entertaining film has so much heart in it. Amongst the humour are some scenes of bitter dialogue and sharp truths that make this a fully realised story. By the end your little heart will be aching for Del. It really is one of the best movies ever.
Now, behind yesterday’s door is a film that is actually incredibly problematic. But I’m guilty of watching almost every year?
Love, Actually was released 15 years ago and is still considered a classic romantic holiday movie by many. While there’s no shame in enjoying it today, let’s just take a moment to break it down for what it really is.
When you stop and think about each individual story in Love Actually, you might realise there’s actually nothing romantic about it. At all. I’ve always hated the story of Andrew Lincoln, Kiera Nightley and those incredibly creepy cards. Just what the fuck. Mark is a terrible human being and Juliet is even worse. Where is the romance in cheating on your husband or confessing that you’re a huge pervert. Then there’s Colin Firth that gets cheated on, moves to France and falls in love with a woman based solely on her looks.
Of course we can’t forget Alan Rickman, who has an affair with what can only be described as a vagina on legs, because let’s be honest, thats as far as her character is developed. Emma Thompson’s character appears to be the only normal person in this film, but after having her heart broken, she stays with her scumbag husband. Really, do any women in this film have any agency or god damn self respect? The president harassing Natalie is one of the most disturbing scenes to watch, and yeah Hugh Grant makes a good speech afterwards, but does anyone wanna consider Natalies opinion or feelings, no? Nope? Okay. Moving on.
Colin’s American quest for sex was plenty entertaining without that awkward bar scene that felt like the intro to a really shit porno. If you’re watching with your parents, take that scene as a cue to leave for the toilet.
Funnily enough one of the only pure and enjoyable stories in Love Actually is the actual porno one. Joanna Page and Martin Freeman make for a lovely couple.
Overall this film is funny and kinda festive but there’s a lot wrong with it. That’s not to say that we can’t enjoy it, but lets not give it more credit than it deserves.
Also, sorry if I just spoiled one of your favourite Christmas movies.
And finally, behind door number 11 is Steven Spielberg’s cult classic, Gremlins. Man, 1984 really was an amazing year for film.
I’m sure we all know the story of Zach Galligan and his new pet Gizmo that comes with three important rules. Don’t shine light at it. Don’t get it wet. And most importantly, don’t feed it after midnight. If these rules are broken, as Zach soon finds out, a horde of malevolent mischief is to be unleashed.
You might say that Gremlins doesn’t quite qualify as a Christmas film, but thats what makes Gremlins so good, it can’t be categorised. It’s far too despicable to be a kids film but too funny to be considered a horror. It’s one of a kind, and I love watching it at Christmas time.
So that’s the calendar up to date!
Thanks for reading, I’ll be posting again tomorrow.